Joy Suckers

     Lately I have fallen victim to the Joy Suckers, as my dear friend calls them.  You know who they are.  The ones that constantly complain and are so full of negative energy that you tense up each time you see them.  I know them because I've found that there are days when I roll with them.  Griping about this and that, full of hate and contempt, spewing my misery on every adult I talk to.  It's hard for me to pull myself out when I dig down deep with this crew.  My PPD and GAD make it easy to focus on the negative.  I cringe at the though of change, much less the actual living through it.  I put the spotlight on each and every thing that can, will, and is going wrong.  I push aside anything semi happy or positive.  And that makes me feel like crap.
     I decided yesterday that I have no one to blame for this attitude except myself.  Not my job, my kids, my husband, or my family.  It's all on me.  I thought about all those cheesy sayings about positive attitudes and realized that they are right.  I control my attitude and my fate.  Constantly complaining won't change anything.  I have to be a doer.  I have to do what I need to do to be happy.  Whining to every grown up within earshot isn't going to change something.  It just makes me the person people run away from when they see me walking down the hallway.  It's my job to be a role model for my children and my students by stepping up and using my big girl words to be the change that I want to be.
     One of the benefits of never being able to sleep is that I have plenty of time to browse pinterest.  I found this idea the other night and had to do it.  I feel that it's so easy to focus on the negative things someone does and much harder to see the good in them.  I wanted a way for everyone in the family to feel appreciated and to see in black and white (or blue, green, and red) how the people around them love and appreciate them.  There are days when I feel like a warden and not a mom, and I wanted a way to bring back that happiness.  By taking a few minutes each day to think of one really great thing each person did, I'm able to bring that focus back on the joy.  I'm filling myself and my family up with joy and hopefully refilling that which I've taken.  And the markers are available to anyone in the house, not just me.  I love that the girls can think about something involving the other sister that isn't a tattle.  And I love that John can see the good things that are happening when he is here.  

 

 

            
         I've also made a promise to myself that I'm going to stop being that person that sucks the joy out of those around me.  I want to be someone that others seek out because they enjoy being around me.  I want to be the friend that listens and doesn't focus on herself all of the time.  I want to stop and count my blessings, because I truly have many.