Guilt

So the Hubby's employer (better known as Satan's accomplices) changed his schedule at the last minute.  For most people this isn't a problem, but when you work out of state it does create a bit of a situation for the household.  The Hubs is Mr. Mom two days a week which is the best situation possible for our family.  The little guy only has to go to child care (ours is AMAZING by the way) three days a week so my mommy guilt isn't as large as it was with the older two that were in full time care.  Thanks to the company, I was left without childcare today.  My OCD, PPAD, and other assorted acronyms kicked in before I calmed down and sent a text to our child care provider.  Of course she didn't have drop in space at the last minute (which I totally expected) so I had to go to Plan C.  Plan B is to call my back up providers, including grandparents, college aged kiddos, and SAHM friends.  I completely skipped that step and called in a sub for myself for the day. 

If you know me, you know that is a difficult thing for me to do.  I hate missing work.  Part of it is because it is far more work to prep for a sub than it is to be at work.  Mostly, it's because I hate changing the routine of my kinders.  Kinders are religious routine followers.  Don't you dare change something up without warning them because they will hunt you down.  I had a kiddo one year grab my lesson plan book because I dared to change up the schedule.  He just to see the change in black and white.  Yep, it's that bad.  What makes it harder is having your go to subs not available for you either.  Handing off MY kinders to a new guest teacher was hard for me to wrestle with.  But I did it.  I did it because honestly, I needed a day with my baby.  In less than a month he'll be two.  He's our last baby so every first is a last to me. 

I know I changed the routine.  I know that my class could have a bad day today.  I know I'll regret getting nothing done but blogging, Facebook, and pinterest during his nap.  I know the professional in me is dying about the fact that I'm gone.  I also know that I got to play with my baby boy uninterrupted for 3 straight hours before he crashed into his bed, Mickey Mouse and football in hand.  And I know that makes it all worth it.

Update:  It helped my guilt a little that I spent part of nap time printing out some classroom materials (on my home computer since I can't print at work).