Today I said good bye to my best friend, my second mother, and third grandmother to my children. She was pure beauty, full of grace and wit and will be missed so much. I was comforted to see so many people at the service, full of guilt when I looked into the eyes of her son and daughter in law, and at peace when I heard all the wonderful stories about her.
Those of you that know me know I am a crier. It doesn't take much to get my eyes to flood. As we sat together during the service the Middle, who never wants to cling to me in any way, reached for my hand and held it. I looked at her face, she smiled, and started playing games with my hand. It was a welcome, and needed, distraction. I enjoyed watching her youngest granddaughter move impatiently around the pew, comforting her mother and father, and watching all of the people around her. We caught each other's eyes several times and shared smiles. I saw her grandmother in each smile. I cried a lot today. And yesterday. All week in fact. I've still not come to terms with the loss of my friend. This was not the ending I had written for us and I don't like that someone else is changing my story. I know I will be grieving for quite some time. I know that I will miss her always. But, I saw so much of her as I looked around the church. Children she cared for and taught (including my own), adults that were blessed to know her, and family that loved her. She lives on.
She fought that cancer hard, gave it her all, and in her words "it is what it is." I'll miss you my friend. You're forever in my heart and I will endeavor to make you proud.
This song was played at the service today.
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